- AFAIK – As far as I know
- AF – Aunt Flo (period)
- AKA – Also known as
- BBL – Be back later
- BBT – Basal body temp
- BFD – Biscuits for dinner
- BIL – Brother in law
- BITGOD – Back in the good old days
- BRB – Be right back
- BTW – By the way
- CBG – Consumed by guilt
- CS – Considering suicide
- DD – Darling daughter
- DF – Darling fiance/fiancee
- DH – Darling husband
- DMTAA – Don’t miss them at all
- DP – Darling partner
- DS – Darling son
- DW – Darling wife
- EOMCF – Envious of my childless friends
- FAQ – Frequently asked questions
- FIL – Father in law
- FPM – Full parental meltdown
- FWIW – For what it’s worth
- FYI – For your information
- GFBWTF – Getting fat but what the f**k
- GFY – Good for you
- GMTA – Great minds think alike
- HV – Health visitor
- IAC – In any case
- IFAD – I fantasise about death
- IFWIW – I’ve forgotten who I was
- IIRC – If I remember correctly
- IMCO – In my considered opinion
- IMHO – In my humble opinion
- IMNSHO – In my not so humble opinion
- IMO – In my opinion
- IMOBO – In my own biased opinion
- ITIHMC – I think I hate my children
- IWSMMFL – I wanted so much more from life
- JTYWLTK – Just thought you would like to know
- LOL – Lots of luck/lots of love/laughing out loud
- LMAO – laughing my a**e off
- MIL – Mother in law
- OH – Other half
- OM – Other man
- OMG – oh my god!
- OW – Other woman
- PILs – Parents in law
- PMSL – Peeing myself laughing
- PMSS – Peeing myself sneezing
- PND – Post natal depression
- PTSD – Post tequila slammers depression
- RERST – Routinely exceed recommended screen time
- ROTF – Rolling on the floor
- SATT – Sad all the time
- SCP – Secret crying place
- SF – Secret family
- SFACC – Sexual fantasy about cartoon character
- SIL – Sister in law
- SLNIDTIWIAOWAOFCBBCP… AILI – So last night I dreamed I was in an orgy with all of the CBBC presenters… and I liked it
- SO – Showering optional
- TAFT – That’s a frightening thought
- TBH – To be honest
- TSBWTRBCGFH – That smug bitch with the running buggy can go fuck herself
- TTC – Trying to conceive
- WYSIWYG – What you see is what you get
- WRT – With regard to
- WTCISD – What time can I start drinking?
- WTF – What the f**k?
Master Heywood 