Julian Assange makes plea for copies of Razzle following internet shutdown

assangeWikileaks founder Julian Assange has made a desperate public plea for copies of Razzle, after losing access to the internet.

Speaking from the balcony of the Ecuadorean embassy in London, Assange called on the public to send him copies of Razzle, Fiesta, and Readers’ Wives to help him survive his toughest test since taking refuge in the embassy four years ago.

Assange’s internet access was removed after he was caught interfering with the US election by leaking information designed to damage the credibility of democratic candidate Hillary Clinton.

“I bitterly reject becoming involved in this attempt to undermine American democracy,” a tearful Assange bellowed from this balcony.

“In fact, I renounce literally everything I’ve ever done that might have contributed to my being cut off from the internet. It wasn’t worth it.”

Onlookers describe a pale, gaunt Assange who seemed on the verge of losing hope. Friends of the Australian fugitive have joined his pleas for issues of Razzle, claiming it may be his last hope of survival.

“Mr Assange has been a very naughty boy,” a consular spokesman said, “and as a result we have restricted his internet access until after the US election.

“But we’re not monsters,” the spokesman added. “We have arranged to provide Mr Assange with a man size box of Kleenex, and will send all his meals to his room and hang a Do Not Disturb sign on his door on the day that his internet access is restored.”

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